Pornography is a societal malady. Some may disagree with the statement, others may agree. It still does not change the fact of its existence and its effect on its users. Almost everyone has used pornography at one time or the other. Everyone is willing to say: pornography is everywhere. Almost no one is willing to say: and I have seen some of it.
In 2009, the University of Montreal tried to conduct a study into the views of men who never watched porn and guess what; it failed to find a single candidate. Simon Lajeunesse, one of the researchers in the study commented that “guys who do not watch pornography do not exist.” This is not difficult to believe since one in six or seven internet searches are for pornography and most boys start to seek pornography by age 10. British people click on porn sites more than they do on social networks. A 2008 study found that 86% of young adult men watch porn, 69% at least once a month. The facts are there- porn is everywhere today more than ever! An average young guy can see pictures of naked ladies than all his ancestors put together would have loved to see. On the billboards, posters, music videos, adverts, phones and the internet-its everywhere for us to see-young, middle aged and old. What then shall we do? Close our eyes? Hell no!
As to why people use pornography, according to Weston: to see their fantasies acted out, to avoid intimacy in a relationship, and simply to aid masturbation. Also, she asserts that porn can be a part of a healthy relationship but in some circumstances it can hinder intimacy. But like before there are many that would not approve of pornography in any way possible. They would assert that nothing good can ever come out of such a voyeuristic act. Well, everyone is entitled to his own opinion. It’s a democratic society, with each person with the freedom to exercise his own will as long as it causes no harm to the next person. To different sorts of people, porn may be an entertainment activity/hobby/addiction (delete as appropriate).
Coming from someone who used to be a user of that paper-to-internet commodity, I have found how much of an addiction it can be and how difficult it is to break. Come to think of it, if watching porn was such a good thing, then why are people by the thousands making commitments to be done with it? Aside from the religious injunctions to live pure and holy lives (of course pornography doesn’t look ‘pure and holy’), the psychological effects it has on addicts is more negative than positive. The truth is that porn is doing more harm than good. Yes, in the act of watching it one gets very much aroused-all the physiological responses kick in and the heavens is the destination point. But if you are like most of us the guilt creeps back in and a vow thereafter follows to not indulge in the act any longer, which of course does not last more than a few hours or days. A study report from Middlesex University found that “significant proportion of children and young people are exposed to or access pornography”, and that this is linked to “unrealistic attitudes about sex” as well as “less progressive gender role attitudes (e.g. male dominance and female submission)”. 90% of content on the most popular porn sites feature physical/verbal abuse against women even though watching porn does not make you aggressive. Aside from that the effect it has on your social intelligence is appalling. It dulls one’s response to the opposite sex and creates insufferable perceptions about them. On the sexual side, porn addiction has been found to foster a numbed pleasure response. Its users are not excited towards pleasure like they used to. Everything becomes boring to them-even actual sex, except when watching it on their favourite porn site. Finally a survey found that “internet porn is killing young men’s sexual performance”. It has a killer effect on the erectile capacity of males. After all the viewing, it becomes a task to get into the act. What a pity!
There are many approaches to dealing with an undue attachment to internet pornography. My best advice which worked for me and I believe might do the same for you is making a decision, sticking with it through a system of accountability. Making a personal decision to cut off from porn is not enough; we must have people around us that help us to keep in line. I had friends that had been through the same and I used their encouragement with my accountability to them to overcome it, gradually. I’ve heard of the 90 day commitment but what about a one day at a time commitment? It takes a step at a time to work this through.
We might not be able to rid the internet of porn but we can make it safer for ourselves. Be porn free today.