Moving on From a Failed Relationship

“Lord knows I loved that girl so much, but it did not work out”

See yeah, I can relate.

After two failed relationships, and many other “we are talking” friendships, I can say that relationships are a lot of work. It takes grit, patience, kindness, and compassion for two people who love each other to make it through the fights and differences. But sometimes, it never just works out, for various reasons, no matter how hard they try to ride into the sunshine holding hands after an argument or when seemingly are ‘good’ for each other. But a breakup is not the apocalypse. So much more lies ahead. In fact, as you will come to know later, it is a blessing in disguise.

It has been three months since my last relationship ended. In that space of time, I have picked up a couple of lessons on how to move on from the post-relationship sickness. I will be sharing them in a few but before that, let me mention here and now that the aftermath of a relationship does not have to be ‘bloody.’ Y’all can still be friends or still talk occasionally. It depends on two things:

-Did you two used to be good friends before dating? If so, then there is a strong likelihood of friendship after breaking up.

-Why did you break up? If it was due to something like distance, then in most cases y’all still going to be rolling together.

Now, how to handle this and not get your next partner all jealous is a post for another day.

If you had just left a relationship, the below tips will pull you through and help you find yourself again:

1. Make happiness a lifestyle: Sadly, you may have been in a relationship whereby you tapped your happiness from your significant other. You don’t have that luxury anymore. Instead of looking for someone else to fill that void right away, I would strongly recommend you make yourself happy, every day. Let it come naturally, with or without someone else. Trust me, if you master this, your next partner will be grateful for you.
2. Hang out with your friends: If there was a time you ever needed them, it is now. A support system is crucial at this time, especially when you find yourself throwing a horrible pity party. Get out of the house, go to some cool place and have the fun of your life!
3. Stop following them on Social Media: You will act upon what you consistently see. If you continually see their photos, videos, posts, and tweets, you will find yourself drooling again and needing to form connections again. Don’t do it. Unfollow them or just block their a**.
4. When people ask what happened, KISS: That is, keep it short and simple. Don’t go badmouthing the once-upon-a-time-love-of-your-life. Even if you may not talk to them anymore, it would be in your best interests to respect that relationship for what it was. Whether we like to admit it or not, relationships alter us – even if it was for a brief period.
5. Meet new people: This is a bit tricky because some people tend to overdo this. Before you know it, they are in a new relationship, barely days after the last one. And you know what? They bring the same habits as before along with them. Nah, don’t do that. It is better to just meet new people and maintain a friendship with them. As time goes on, if you are ready to enter the dating scene again as well as they are, then a relationship can begin.

What do you think? Let me know in the comments below.

Image credit: Black Love Advice | Quora